PLATYPUS POST, Number 12, November 2004PLATYPUS POST, Number 12, November 2004
A regular publication of Platypus Media, an independent publisher of books for families, teachers and parenting professionals.
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE:
DIA'S DIARY: Supporting a loser may be good for your mental health!
I do not watch a lot of sports. Personally, I'd rather play the sport or do something else. I'm not much of a spectator. But I - and just about everybody else in the country, it seems - have followed the meteoric rise of the Boston Red Sox these past couple weeks with interest. In the rare event that you missed the news, the Red Sox just won the World Series for the first time in 86 years! Perhaps it is also because it is an election year, but winning and losing seem to be big themes right now.
An editorial in the New York Times ("Maybe Red Sox Fans Enjoy Their Pain," Benedict Carey, New York Times, Sunday, October 17, Section 4, Page 12) got me thinking. The author tells us that there are plenty of reasons for fans to root for a winner, like basking in the reflected glory of the team, finding a community of friends, or even buffering oneself against feelings of despair. The sudden pleasure of victory can even make some supporters feel more socially confident and attractive.
But psychologists also say that those who are repeatedly denied the pleasures of winning find other compensations, which go beyond the shallow charms of being simply a loveable underdog. There is more at play here than merely celebrating victories and mourning losses. Being denied the pleasures of winning, it seems, connects us to the human condition of striving.
Loyalty to the club at all costs, an interest in the history of the team, and an emotional resilience often count more to supporters of cursed teams than victorious ones. Other people are attracted to these traits; there is social cache in being a solid supporter and not a lightweight fan, going wherever the party is.
More importantly, people that root for losers also quickly learn how to explain and adjust to failure; skills that psychologists say are emotionally protective. The ability to consider multiple and combined reasons for failure - of spreading blame, if appropriate - can be especially helpful to people who blame themselves for things they have very little control over. It's a strategy that is very handy in other areas of personal life.
Supporting a losing team also gives fans a psychological trump card. The author writes, "knowing that one day, their team will almost certainly win it all, and the magnificence of that coming victory grows in the imagination with every blown save, every fumble, every mind-boggling collapse. The fan of the losing team gets to revel in the fantasy of the win yet to come."
I can't read this without thinking about the corollary to parenting. As nurturers of the next generation, we want our children to succeed, to win, to experience victory in life. Yet as much as I hope each of my children will have a lifetime filled with joy, pleasure and adventure, I also know that sorrow, pain and disappointment are part of the package. There is value in losing a game, not getting the part in an audition, forgetting your argument in a debate, and not getting into the school or employer of choice.
There is value in learning perseverance, in letting go of fixations, in adapting. It would be naïve for me to expect, or even to wish for, for children to have lives without pain, disappointment or loss. It is wonderful to feel victorious. It is wonderful to win. But as a parent, my goal is to help my kids build emotional resilience. It is not winning that makes a winner. It is having the grace to accept and learn from the pain that will inevitably be there.
CELEBRATE CHILDREN'S BOOK WEEK NOVEMBER 15-21
The Children's Book Council, a non-profit organization dedicated to encouraging literacy and the use and enjoyment of children's books, presents the 85th annual Children's Book Week from November 15 - 21, 2004. A celebration of the written word, Children's Book Week introduces young people to new authors and ideas in schools, libraries, homes and bookstores.
During this special week, children's books and the love of reading will be observed through storytelling, parties, author and illustrator appearances, and other book related events. Check with your local children's bookseller, school or librarian for more details and visit the CBC Web site at www.cbcbooks.org for more information about Children's Book Week.
AUTUMN SAVINGS AT PLATYPUS MEDIA!!
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JUST FOR LAUGHS..
FUN AT HOME OR SCHOOL: 25 Ways to Say Hello
In I Was Born to Be a Brother, the young narrator loves to make things with clay. Here are 2 simple recipes - including one that is edible -- for making play dough so that you can sculpt your own creations. Try this:
Cook over medium heat until consistency of very thick mashed potatoes. Scrape saucepan as you turn the play dough onto a work surface. Divide and knead in food colors or cake decoration paste.,/P>
Or . . . Try this Edible Play Dough Recipe and eat your results:
Combine all the ingredients in a bowl and mix well. This can be eaten. However, do not keep longer than a day, as it does not last. The recipe above will make dough for 3 children.
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This activity is found in the I Was Born to Be a Brother Activity Guide. Each Platypus Media children's book has a teacher-written Activity Guide. These are available at no charge. Just download the Guide(s) of your choice at www.PlatypusMedia.com.
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING...
OUR FAMILY KEEPS GROWING: New Places to Find Platypus Media Books
We are pleased to announce that Look What I See! Where Can I Be? Visiting China will be among the selection of books for sale at the Kennedy Center Multicultural Children's Book Festival here in Washington, DC. This free event, in its ninth year, will be held on Saturday, November 6, from noon to 5 p.m. in the Atrium of the Kennedy Center. As in past years, the festival features readings, book signings and other activities. Find out more about this event at www.Kennedy-Center.org.
Presbyterian Hospital in Charlotte, NC, just opened a $59 million woman's center. Located in the Center, and run by the Lactation department, is a new boutique called "A Woman's View." This retail store offers bras and bra-fitting services (for both nursing and non-nursing bras), breastpumps, clothing, books and gifts. Platypus Media children's books, including I Was Born to Be a Sister, I Was Born to Be a Brother, and If My Mom Were a Platypus are among the items available. To learn more about the store, visit www.presbyterian.org or call 704-384-4090.
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